I don’t think I’m alone in saying that celebrating Canada Day this year feels very different than celebrating in previous years.

For me, as an immigrant from Communist Poland back in 1981, Canada has always been a country of safety, freedom and opportunity. My parents sacrificed everything to bring us here as small children, and through their courage and because of what Canada is, we were provided with incredible opportunity. 

Today, I sit pondering What is Canada? And what am I Celebrating? And I don’t think that I am alone.

This past year has shed a lot of light on the shadows of Canada’s past, present and future. And I’m left with a feeling that feels very far from pride when I think about what Canada is today. 

In this past year we have witnessed our government and those that supposedly lead our country, blatantly and repeatedly lie to their people about the issues Canadians are facing. We see our political leaders, who we believed were supposed to represent the people, instead putting corporate, financial and global interests ahead of their people’s safety and security. 

We witnessed as Canadian police, politicians and even judges repeatedly broke their oaths and promises and committed acts we would have quickly scorned as a nation if it were happening in other countries and in another time. 

We now know, that our Canadian institutions, our media, our government, our schools, our health authorities are all deeply corrupted and slipping ever further away from the ideals we had growing up as kids. 

This year we have even been reminded of the horrific, unjust and downright inhuman actions of our colonialist ancestors that built this country. 

And, for some us, we are left to question if Canada is even a country. There are many questions and historical documents that point to the fact that Canada is nothing more than a colony, occupied territory and perhaps even just a corporation - a fictitious entity. 

Today, on this Canada Day, I have to search for what it is that I am proud of. 

I don’t feel at peace stating that I am a proud Canadian. I do not celebrate our government, our institutions, our history, or whatever this entity is that we call Canada.

Perhaps I can celebrate the idea of Canada. Or at least the beautiful idea of Canada that’s been sold to us for generations. A place of beauty. A place of tolerance. A place of kind and welcoming people. A place of safety, refuge and freedom. 

Perhaps, if we acknowledge our past, accept our tumultuous present and focus not on the interests of this “nation state”,  but rather on the people who live here, we can find a middle ground from where we can begin to envision a better future for all of us.